Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
