Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wear drunk well.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
