no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
