That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
