This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
