I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
