we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
