Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
