This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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