love makes seman taste better
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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