chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
