***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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