don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
