I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
