yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
