absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
