Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We don't watch enough power rangers
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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