I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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