Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
