i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
