EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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