I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
