Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
