yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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