we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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