How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
