I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
