So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
