strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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