I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
