we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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