She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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