Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
