I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
