If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
