And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
