The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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