But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You pole danced in your parka.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
