Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
