I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
