Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
