You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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