I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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