Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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