There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
