Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
