He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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