If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
