I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
