Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm passing your future prison.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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