apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found puke in my bra..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
