I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
