sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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