I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
